I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
