Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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