he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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