like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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