there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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