i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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