Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
