I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
