I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oh god it's open bar.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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