I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
