Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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