its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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