Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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