i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
