grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
