first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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