Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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