she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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