dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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