I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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