No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
