loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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