You work out of a Hotel?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
