He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
