lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
