Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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