Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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