I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
