you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
