Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We left an ass print on the piano.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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