do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
