he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
