Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
