Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
