You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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