I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
