Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
