i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
