Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
