I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
