my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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