Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
