Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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