He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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