Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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