My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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