she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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