Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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