the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
