fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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