so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
