Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
