Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Mom said you looked used
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
