1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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