The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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