doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
