Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
