She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
