I will die if light touches me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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