i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
