you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
