So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
