I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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