Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
