chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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