You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
