I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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