So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
