Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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