I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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