i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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