lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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